...my C average life
This is Emmy Morgan's blog about TV, movies, music, and a little bit of her personal life :)
Friends
the one where I explain why I have no feelings at all for my half-brother
So all my life I’ve never really talked publicly about my half-brother or given a complete full story. Mostly because I didn’t think ppl would believe me, but also because it’s embarrassing.
Anyone related to abusive or toxic ppl know this. It’s almost like I feel shame for being related. Well that ends today…keep reading.
It started as a kid. I was always the cute one everywhere we went, but he wasn’t. In church, I remember people would call me a cutie but said nothing to him. I think that’s when he started resenting me. As a kid, I couldn’t understand why he was mean to me cuz I loved him. But he kept on. He would hit me then lie and say he never did. One time he slammed me on the ground, and I had a seizure. My mother comforted HIM while I was trying to recover from my seizure. That’s when I realized he was the favorite.
All growing up he never helped me, protected me, or stuck up for me. If ppl picked on me, he’d join in. In fact I found out when, HE outed me to his friends in the presence of ppl in my school. I was very flamboyant, but for them to hear my own sibling make fun of me. Ppl in school told me I was shocked. I told my mother, and she literally did not care. I was teased and contemplated suicide but still she didn’t care.
Then at 15, I had enough of his abuse and told him if he touched me again I’d slit his throat in his sleep. He cried and told my mother. She punished me. She’s always been his gatekeeper.
Fast forward to Saturday February 5, 2022. He’s never apologized for the past, still never defended me to anyone, never tried to even make up for it. I even learned when I wasn’t living at my mother’s house, he picked my bedroom lock where ALL my stuff was, stole some stuff, and used my bedroom as his second closet putting his clothing on my bed. I bought a Halloween costume in 2002 that he decided to wear in 2017 without my permission.
I was insulted. He never apologized. When I moved back to my mother’s during the pandemic after transitioning, he deadnamed me and misgendered me on purpose. My mother never corrected him. She actually joined in util I finally told her that “David is dead.”
This past Saturday after my mother threw out my mail a few days prior, I saw she opened mail addressed to me. I let her know not to, and my half brother jumped in. Thankfully my friend was on the phone w me at the time to hear it. I got off the phone with him to record this:
What this fool doesn’t realize is he threatened a legal LGBTQ+ woman. That means he committed a hate crime and threatened a woman. Two very serious charges. I forwarded it to our local police department. Whatever happens next is up to karma. When I told my mother she did not even care.
As a kid, my mother would tell me if anyone ever bullied me to speak up. When my half brother was my bully she ignored me and even tried gaslighting me to thinking I was the cause. Videotaping him finally proved to everyone that I wasn’t the dramatic liar they tried painting me out to be.
Now here’s the thing: threatening him at 15 was a child telling a 21 year old to stop abusing me. Jumping into a conversation at 51 when you’re not asked to, jumbling the facts, then threatening someone ain’t the same. Both are wrong; I’m not trying to normalize my trauma over his. But you’d think he’d learned throughout the years. I have. I don’t threaten ppl’s lives.I was talking to my cousin about this. Both my mother and half-brother have trauma they haven’t dealt with. At 4 my mother was there when her dad died after he was shot; she is also the youngest of 11 and spoiled all her life. Some said she was a spoiled brat even. It’s been hinted at that she didn’t want me originally 🤷🏾♀️ I would’ve been better off.My half-brother for the first six years of his life my half brother was shuffled from living with my grandmother to my aunts and snatched from both after I was born. He’s got abandonment issues and secretly hates my mother for it but because he depends on her to literally survive takes his hate on me. And why not? I’m the one my mother chose to raise along w him. When given solutions to make his life better, he ignores it. Stayed back in high school 4 times, never got his high school GED even, works deadens jobs with no benefits or retirement plan or even unemployment. Offered him a chance to help but rescinded my offer.
At this point, I don’t want or need an apology from either of them. It won’t be sincere. They don’t know how to love or show love. What I need is to be left da fcuk alone. Until I move out don’t bother me. I will not take back my message to the police department. Nor will I ever downplay what he’s done.
Another reason I’m posting is to stop gatekeeping abusive ppl. I understand it may be upsetting to find out someone you admire even love is abusive, but what if that person(s) was abusing your child or sibling? Normalize walking away after they are called out or exposed. What if your support could literally save a life?
the one about my absence
So first I would like to apologize...I have been absent for almost a year. But when I say alot has happened, I am not even joking.
Schitt's Creek
Great show. Great laughs. No spoilers, but if you want a good laugh you can binge all six seasons.
Toy Boy
For dramatic license Hugo does ALOT of stupid stuff against his lawyer's advice and just in general. But overall the 10 episode first season was engaging.
It also features the owner of the strip club he works at Ivan (Jose de la Torre), deaf stripper Jairo (Carlo Constanzi), a tall black stripper German (Raudel Raúl Martiato), and Ivan's sister's boyfriend Oscar (Carlos Scholz) who becomes a stripper. Along with them there are warring families the Medinas and Rojas.
There's so much going on, but everything is so well balanced. Highly recommend. The strippers do actual dance routines. And NO JOKE Jesus has entered the Best Butt in Hollywood realm. WOW!
Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness
This 7 part documentary has lions, tigers, and bears plus murder, marriage, and backstabbing. HOLY MOSES! At the epic center is gay, polygamist, widowed, redneck, gun-toting, loud mouth, mullet wearing, animal tamer Joe Exotic and his hatred for suspected husband killing, hippie, "animal conservationist" Carole Baskin. A hatred that allegedly had him hire a hitman to kill her, but the hitman didn't go through with it only took the money. The hitman cooperated with the FBI, and Joe is imprisoned for 22 years.
I had no idea who any of these people were till yesterday. The first episode you have so many opinions already formed. By the end of the second episode your mind is fried. This is a show that if scripted you couldn't even DREAM up. By the end of episode seven, everyone is a bad person and the only true saints are the animals. WOW!
The toughest part for me was seeing animals in cages in episode one. I turned it off twice. Just horrible. And this show will have a sequel. How can it not?
Bombshell
Acting, writing, and makeup amazing. Charlize Theron plays Megyn Kelly, Fox News bright anchor, who joined a fight Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman) started against Roger Ailes. Kayla (Margot Robbie), a character of a combo of women, finally finds her voice.
This is one of those pull back the curtains type of movies where once you see why the wide shots, why the perfectly polished hair and nails, why the dresses never had wrinkles, you fully understand it...it being we just accepted this culture. No one spoke up because of fear.
I have so much respect for the women in the real story that spoke up.