I was a pretty responsible kid even that young so a few years later when I got to Junior High Brenda decided with Jamie there I could babysit sometimes. So Jamie and I would babysit her siblings. Brett was always a funny smart ass. He would say the funniest most random things but we ALWAYS laughed. And OMG MY GOD was he messy haha I would half the time help him clean his room and no joke he had one of those captain beds. We cleaned his room and I found literally a dried up piece of pizza in his drawer. I wish I were kidding.
It got to the point where I became part of their family and Brett was my kid brother. He brought out my geeky side. He'd get pissed when he'd be home and I'd be playing his video games LOL They were fun! We would also watch Chip N Dale Rescue Ranger together. When I got a car I took him and Ash to the movies.
And he was a GREAT guy. Extremely good with kids. He wasn't into drugs. Smoked cigarettes. And when he had a girlfriend he treated her like gold (although I hated his girlfriend cuz she was ruining my kid brother LOL). I think the happiest time in his life was when he lived with Ash and her husband Nick in Agawam. It was awesome to see him in his own.
After I moved to Boston area he and I would talked about him moving to Cape Cod. I was pumped about that cuz I missed him and would've loved to have him over here.
I'm sad he wouldn't get to live in Cape Cod. Sad I won't get to see him marry or have kids like his sisters. And mostly sad I won't get to hug him or to hear him tell me he loves his big brother Michael. But I am glad that I have the memories of his life and how much fun we had. He will be missed!
If you are reading this and know Brett PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE share a funny story about him. I rarely saw him cry in the 25 years I knew him. I know for a fact he would not want us to cry over him. In fact he would make a joke of himself if it got us to laugh. So please share. I wanna laugh and I think it would help everyone else too :)
On Saturday March 5 I paid my respects to Brett Andrew Taylor. It was harder than I thought. I didn't bawl but I definitely got emotional. Part of me wants to listen to what people say and just let it out. Cry till my eyes go dry. But most of me feels like..."I didn't see his body so he's not gone to me." I know doesn't make sense right?! I know I won't hear him say something funny. I know I won't hug him again. I know be a total bitch to his new girlfriend cuz I'm too protective. I know I won't pick him up and drive him to my apt, then take him around Boston like I've wanted to. But he's just not gone to me. He's too alive in my heart and in my head.
His sister Mandee did a PHENOMENAL job arranging his service. I kept thinking "Note to self: In my will stipulate that Mandee handle my funeral arrangements when I die." She even made a dvd of all his childhood pictures. I was watching her read his eulogy and kept thinking what a parent must feel like. To see a kid grow up into adulthood. And seeing Brett progress in age knowing I was there for alot of those PIX! That's what got me. He wasn't a friend or a brother he was a part of me. All of them are. Jamie. Mandee. Brett. Ashley. Brenda. All of them. Everytime they sang at the church I wouldn't sing. I would just listen to the words and think of how that particular song FIT Brett perfectly.
The absolute best part is that my friendship with Jamie is right where we left off. I have some catching up to do obviously, but I can't even express how much I love these people. I hadn't laughed like today in awhile. It's funny cuz when we have that sit down talk (we will) to catch up she will see I haven't changed haha I still wear my heart on my sleeve but I'm more apt to working things out than running away. And words can't express how much I missed her husband Dan. No one ever understood why I loved Dan so much. So I'll tell you. Because he tries. Anything he does he tries. He just tries to be a good person and to have someone in your life with that much effort in TRYING just makes you wanna try to.
I do have to give a special thanks to Joe, Mandee's husband. I don't think I woulda kept a stiff upper lip had he not had me laughing all day. He's one of the top 5 funniest people I've ever met. SERIOUSLY! He cracked me up so much today. So Joe thank you! I definitely woulda probably found it hard not to cry if you weren't there.
The biggest shock though was that one of my other childhood friends Monique showed up. I was just so happy. By the end of the night my face hurt from smiling.
My straight-husband (he's earned that privilege) Alex called me on my drive home. Have you ever noticed with every friend you have you have that moment in your friendship where you bond over something? It's like the turning point in your friendship and it solidifies it as legit? That was my conversation with Alex. He said exactly what I needed to hear at that exact moment and better still it was the truth. We bonded big time. It was awesome. THEN my bestie Kelly texted me to make sure I was ok. I mean I'm almost embarrassed at how amazing my friends are.
Well this is WAY longer than I intended but I just wanna thank everyone whom have reached out to me over the past week. I love you so much and feel privileged and honored you are in my life. And I also wanna say to those whom haven't PLEASE don't feel bad. I don't deal with death hardly ever so I understand it's uncomfortable and awkward to give your condolences. I love you too BUT I would like to hear from you and know how you are doing :)
That's that. XOXO
