So Valentine's Day is here. My most favoritest holiday of the year. And I'm depressed every year.
Usually I buy myself chocolates and take myself to see dinner and a movie, but I'm so broke this year can't even do that. The one year I did have a Valentine's Day date was awesome. No Noah and I didn't work out, but he got me flowers, chocolates, and took me to dinner. And not to be graphic but sex on VDay is awesome HAHAHA sorry.
Anyways today is the one day a year I envy people. When I was younger I use to hate being around couples. "When's my turn? Why can't I have a boyfriend?" I'm not like that anymore...until VD. People whom aren't even lovey dovey post on facebook and twitter the sweetest things. Just makes me jelly.com.
I can remember being in 5th grade Mrs. O'Keefe's class wanting to give a certain boy a Valentine but knew it was wrong. I gave my best friend John O'Brien one but that wasn't the same. I didn't have a crush on him.
I never got the opportunity to have the cheesy VDay in high school with my high school boyfriend. Never dated. In fact my "sis" Jamie reminded me of something pretty sad from our childhood.
I grew up in Pheasant Hill Village which was an apartment complex for lower income families. You wouldn't tell with the pool, playground, basketball and tennis courts tho. Don't forget the manicured lawns and friendly neighbors. Well there was a group of kids around my age if not 1 or 2 years younger and we'd all play together. I would marry everyone as a kid. I was always the priest. I never married anyone cuz I couldn't. No one was gay. Remembering this made me cry. As a kid I never even thought about it, but knew I couldn't marry anyone myself.
At least now as an adult I can marry legally :) But fast forward from my crush in 5th grade to today it's funny! My straight guy friend sent me the sweetest Valentine text ever. Seriously if he was gay hell bi-curious I'd be the luckiest gay in gaytown. Alas he's straighter than Tim Tebow. It's totally ok for straight guys to show love or friendship to gay men and not lead us on. UGH I wish he was gay though. He's legit the nicest, handsomest, perfect guy you ever wanna meet. The type your parents will love and you will too. UGH I need to stop talking about him getting more depressed hahaha
One day either I will get over my lifelong obession with this holiday or I'll have one great VDay that will make me say "Nothing can top this one." no pun intended hahaha
