So first I went to Boston on Saturday to get my oil changed and hang with Kelly for Pizza night. Well my oil changed turned into a $353 debacle. I ended only paying $60 cuz the guy lied and said it would only be $353 for new brake pads and rotars. After that I went to Kelly's and the storm got bad. I freaked out when my mom said there was no power. I remembered not being there when Brett died so I left in the middle of the blizzard. It was fine. I was 30 mins from home when I went head first into a tree occupying my side of the highway. My windshield wipers pushed into my windshield, it spidered, my car ended up ON a guard rail. Immediately two hot drivers jumped out of their car to see if I was okay. The staties showed up in 5 minutes. I was soooooo shaken but physically fine. I sat in the hot statie's car and called Alice. I called Kelly whom didn't berate me for leaving but made me laugh so hard I was crying.
The tow truck towed me to the next exit and I rented a hotel room for the night. This place reminded me of the hotel from The Shining. But I had been there for three weddings. The staff was amazing. And when I woke up the next morning the power was out throughout the hotel. I was annoyed but the staff brought out food for us there and I found a remote wall in the back of the hotel to get service and charge my dead phone. I called my insurance company and they are having a garage tow my car from Sturbridge to Springfield, fixing it, and paying them from my policy. Next up was getting home. They arranged for me to have a rental car. The clerk called his husband to drive me home. I was shocked! Who does that?
When I got home it was worse than the tornado. HORRIBLE! Lines down due to trees falling. Houses ruined by tree damage. Power on odd streets with no rhyme or reason. Lines backed up at every working gas station and Dunkin Donuts. AND I called the car rental company that was closed. I had to call out of work. UGH! My trainer was very understanding but I feel like the problem child.
On the plus side I have FINALLY started reading Harry Potter that I borrowed from Mandee. It's really good. This woman created this entire world of amazing! How she did it I will never know. It's beyond my own creativeness I will give her that!
And I finally had it with my phone. I walked into AT&T and no dice on an upgrade. I'd have to pay. Walked into Apple. The hot salesperson Dan got me to resign with a new iPhone 3GS (which I already have) for $0 down. He was so awesome too. Did I mention hot? And of course my former work crush Mike walks into Apple when I'm looking like death. GD he's gorg too. UGH why are all the str8 guys hot and the gay men cray cray. Le Sigh
5% more and I'm headed home to probably finish Harry Potter. Now I gotta wrestle the second book from Mandee's friend hehe
the one about staying positive
So I took matters into my own hands and secured myself a job interview with a manager at the department across the hall. Turns out they are hiring a class that starts MONDAY! Guess who got a new job haha AND Super Bass came on the radio driving to work. I swear the power of positive thinking.
I think it's true that sometimes in life you get what you need not what you want. And the positive attitude I've had as of the last year or so has helped too. One thing I try most often to do is even when things looks 3D (DEEP DARK AND DEPRESSING) to remain focused that this situation is temporary. I've come too far in life to just quit or throw in the towel. And it's worked.
The thing that upsets me is hearing these horror stories about people whom have it just a tiny bit worse than me and kill themselves. Either I'm REALLY strong or they are really weak. I am pretty grateful to also have some of the most amazing people alive around me. They support and encourage me to be the best person I can be. That helps an ISH ton.
I think it's true that sometimes in life you get what you need not what you want. And the positive attitude I've had as of the last year or so has helped too. One thing I try most often to do is even when things looks 3D (DEEP DARK AND DEPRESSING) to remain focused that this situation is temporary. I've come too far in life to just quit or throw in the towel. And it's worked.
The thing that upsets me is hearing these horror stories about people whom have it just a tiny bit worse than me and kill themselves. Either I'm REALLY strong or they are really weak. I am pretty grateful to also have some of the most amazing people alive around me. They support and encourage me to be the best person I can be. That helps an ISH ton.
the one about failing
So I didn't pass my test AGAIN! Third time wasn't a charm. As I was walking out I was like "I know this stuff why can't I pass?" And I realized maybe this just isn't my path. Maybe I am suppose to simply do other things in life and this was my stepping stone. I have another test tomorrow but in all honesty I'm not confident. And that's not me being Negative Nancy. To a point I've kinda thrown in the towel. I've read the book cover to cover and taken every test known to man. I KNOW THIS MATERIAL!
My stance is this: how you treat your failures is indicative of how you treat your successes. I have put SO much pressure on myself. And you know if I passed I would've simply moved on. Why am I so quick to beat myself up? Yes it's important for me to maintain this job, but people in other parts of the world are dealing with far greater things. I have a few options to fall back on, but the past has proven I will be ok. I need to stop with the pressure and scolding myself. In fact I am taking some very long overdue necessary steps as we speak ;)
I will fill you in when they become more secure. Just remember you never really fail if you are giving it the best try you got!
"A courage strains after the corpse."
My stance is this: how you treat your failures is indicative of how you treat your successes. I have put SO much pressure on myself. And you know if I passed I would've simply moved on. Why am I so quick to beat myself up? Yes it's important for me to maintain this job, but people in other parts of the world are dealing with far greater things. I have a few options to fall back on, but the past has proven I will be ok. I need to stop with the pressure and scolding myself. In fact I am taking some very long overdue necessary steps as we speak ;)
I will fill you in when they become more secure. Just remember you never really fail if you are giving it the best try you got!
"A courage strains after the corpse."
the one about making lemonade...
So last night a bill came out of my checking account unexpectedly. When I called the creditor they said they sent me mail in June to my wrong address, but then updated my address a month later without sending new notification and decided to debit my account. My paycheck was absorbed. And my reaction? (Shrugged)
After spending two hours with them on the phone you know what I did? I got dressed and went to an 80s birthday party for my kid sister Mandee. Why's this huge? Have we met? LOL Ok probably not. A year ago I would've stayed home and wallowed in my own self-pity. Since I've moved back I've made a conscience effort to make lemonade out of lemons.
Even that phrase. Makes no real sense right? But when you think about it. Take a sour piece of food and turn it into a sweet refreshing drink. That's what it means! And I had a KICKASS time at Mandee's party. I hung out with her friends and her sister Jamie. We laughed so much. No drama. And the best part is towards the end of the night Mandee goes "Mikey I love hanging out with you." HUGE! I just really felt amazing.
Since I've moved back I've hung with family and reconnected with old friends. Hanging with Jamie and her family (two sisters and their families) has been amazing. Each time I've been to Jamie, Mandee, or Ashley's house not only have I had fun (and they feed me) but I end up having so much fun playing with their kids. I feel like the child whisperer seriously. It's amazing!
And then to top of my positive outlook one of my oldest (in years of friendship) and best friends and I had this "catching up" convo and it was just nice. It just proves my point that time and distance may stretch, but bonds don't change.
There is so much to be said about having a positive attitude. I'm so glad I have one :)
the one about money vs. family
So recently I got into a situation where I had to choose whether to figure out a money situation or go to a birthday party for my kid sister...I went to the birthday party. Here's the surprising thing: I didn't regret my decision.
I was sitting at the birthday party having fun, laughing, making memories, and realized if I didn't go to her party I would've missed out on the memories and the bond! That's the most important part. I looked RIDICULOUS, but you know sometimes it's about that very thing. Putting yourself in a situation you aren't comfortable with to get comfortable with someone. I knew like two people and I still went. I would've NEVER done that seven years ago when I lived here.
Living in Boston taught me alot. One thing is that nothing is fluid like money. NO one is ever flat broke. There's always a way to get or make money. My lesson: memories are far higher in value than the almighty dollar :)
I was sitting at the birthday party having fun, laughing, making memories, and realized if I didn't go to her party I would've missed out on the memories and the bond! That's the most important part. I looked RIDICULOUS, but you know sometimes it's about that very thing. Putting yourself in a situation you aren't comfortable with to get comfortable with someone. I knew like two people and I still went. I would've NEVER done that seven years ago when I lived here.
Living in Boston taught me alot. One thing is that nothing is fluid like money. NO one is ever flat broke. There's always a way to get or make money. My lesson: memories are far higher in value than the almighty dollar :)
the one about "It Gets Better"
So I finally decided to make an "It Gets Better" video. I know long time coming. The whole experience of having my book come to fortition and ANOTHER gay teen in UK killed himself. 15! This time he did reach out to his family. Was on anti-depressants, and going to therapy. It just angers me that they are being teased but also that they couldn't just wait.
When I was younger I was called racist names, homophobic names. And I literally wanted to kill myself. Something inside me said NO it can't be like this the rest of my life. Granted my life isn't PERFECT, but I WROTE A EFFIN BOOK! I've appeared in a Kevin James movie AND a Mark Wahlberg movie. Even if it's background WOW! That's HUGE for me.
I use to dream about having a boyfriend, husband, kids and all that. And I still believe I can, but it will take time. I know there are alot of gay teens they want what their best girlfriends have, dating the quarterback and going to prom. But you know what you can't focus on what you DON'T have, but you can focus on what you CAN ACHIEVE!
PLEASE just hold on. Going through the crap you're going through WILL make you stronger. It'll take you places you never thought you could go, but mostly it will help you realize you can survive through ANYTHING! You are not the only one in the world being teased, bullied, or picked on. But if you wait just a little longer trust me you'll accomplish more for being strong in the end.
It does indeed get better!
When I was younger I was called racist names, homophobic names. And I literally wanted to kill myself. Something inside me said NO it can't be like this the rest of my life. Granted my life isn't PERFECT, but I WROTE A EFFIN BOOK! I've appeared in a Kevin James movie AND a Mark Wahlberg movie. Even if it's background WOW! That's HUGE for me.
I use to dream about having a boyfriend, husband, kids and all that. And I still believe I can, but it will take time. I know there are alot of gay teens they want what their best girlfriends have, dating the quarterback and going to prom. But you know what you can't focus on what you DON'T have, but you can focus on what you CAN ACHIEVE!
PLEASE just hold on. Going through the crap you're going through WILL make you stronger. It'll take you places you never thought you could go, but mostly it will help you realize you can survive through ANYTHING! You are not the only one in the world being teased, bullied, or picked on. But if you wait just a little longer trust me you'll accomplish more for being strong in the end.
It does indeed get better!
the one about Reichen Lehmkuhl
So I've decided when I become famous I'm going to date Reichen. My friends aren't happy with this decision cuz they think he's a player and mediawhore. But I will defend him...Rodiney was NOT famous when they dated. I think it's perfectly ok with me having mixed race babies with him. He seems nice.
It's either him or Stephen Amell. But Stephen lives in LA. sigh.
Reichen...
or Stephen...
It's either him or Stephen Amell. But Stephen lives in LA. sigh.
Reichen...
the one where I applied for the Real World 27 Boston
So I just totes applied for The Real World 27 Boston. The age range? 20-24 HAHA but you know what cry two tears in a bucket. Fcuk it. I get told I look young all the time. And quite honestly I wanna be a role model.
I know how conceited that sounds, but I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I would rather you laugh at me then cry about your life. And I will listen to whatever you say. I think I'd be a great role model to these kids struggling in high school. AND I LIVED THROUGH IT!
It's been well documented on Facebook notes my two years of hell in high school. I've been called a fag, nigger, jungle bunny, spear chucker, and much much more just for being black and openly gay. I never hid anything. And looking back being black and openly gay in a white straight town at the age of 10 was pretty effin brave of me. But I didn't care. No one EVER touched me and I used that to my advantage. Who'd beat up the gay version of Steve Urkel? Boy did I have a mouth on me! HAHA I'm shocked I never got beat up. But more importantly I loved the people that stood up for me.
But this isn't about my past. It's about my present. I not only applied via the website but emailed them a video submission :) I really hope I get picked. I will be a role model but I'll also get to move back to Boston for a few months. I do miss city living if I'm being honest. Maybe I will step outta my comfort zone and actually go out? Although partying with 20 somethings at 35 might be a stretch. Maybe I can be the gay non drinking version of Pauly D. Funny, easy going, and approachable. YEAH BUDDY! Oh I'll need catchphrases.
the one about updating my blog
So I decided to update this blog instead of keeping two. The reason why it's called "my C average life" is because right now I'm studying for my MA property & casualty license. I need to get a C or better in order to pass haha I feel like Dubya. How I figure is he can get C's and become president TWICE of the Home of the Brave. I can get two C's and pass my damn licenses UGH! STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSED!
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