the one about saying goodbye to Lady GeGe/hello to confidence

So as you can tell by the title I'm saying goodbye to her. My beloved Lady GeGe that I've only had for 9 months is gone. They listed her as a total loss. I am heartbroken literally. I know it's weird, but I grew attached to my car. It was my dream car. I loved it. Now what? Going through the process of settling and then getting a new one but I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime I've gotten bold. Commenting on celeb's tweets and fb status like I know them. Boldly posting my YouTube clip on their walls. And just being alot more creative in my marketing scheme. Part of me is sick of talking about my book. Part of me wants so badly to get this off the shelves and into everyone's home. Two people I've been celebstalking.

Once I get famous it will be my personal mission to befriend Rodiney Santiago and Mike Ruiz. Rodiney reminds me of my Brazilian customers from BofA that I miss. He's so much fun as a friend I can tell. And Mike will be my voice of reason. 

Week isn't over yet but I put in a call to a dealership in Hartford to get a new car. I will call my insurance company tomorrow to see how much of a check I'm getting. They said "the appraiser found the loss to be above our threshold of total loss. we have assigned a total loss rep to your claim." Sounds promising no?

As far as my book I think I am on a path. Something in my bones tells me this book will be huge within 6 months. I need to keep focusing on that thought.

Night Lady GeGe.

the one about the celebrity's life

So a lightbulb went off in my head yesterday...why don't I hire Alice to be my publicist? She is a marketer by trade AND she literally is my biggest fan. Whom else would be better to help me promote my book, blog, and YouTube video? 


I sent a copy of my book to Ramiro from Jamn 94.5 whom let Melissa (whom I LOVE and talk to on FB) read the book. She's reading it now. So I could have their fans all over it should she like it. THEN I asked the owner of Club Cafe Jim to see if he could promote it and maybe I could do a book signing. I know I don't know where this confidence suddenly came from.


Alice is also editing my book. I pray it does fantastic because I not only want to of course get into the business, but helping gay teens even just one make him NOT hurt himself because he sees a poor black openly gay kid from Feeding Hills, MA grows up, writes a book, makes millions, and becomes a famous screenwriter/movie star. I would love to be that success rags to riches story you read about but never actually see.


I cannot even tell you how much support I have from people when I talk about my book or even when I tell them about what it's about. I'll be honest sometimes I get embarrassed. Not about the book itself but I feel like I'm bragging. Yeah I wrote a book. WHO THE EFF AM I?


Anyways it lead me to think I have such amazing people in my life how do I keep that? How do I keep people around me that I care about? Easy hire them. I have an entire list (I've always been a lister) of people I intent to employ when I make it. Wow I typed when without hesitating. Didn't even type if/when. Sorry anyways yeah I am so pumped about this chapter of my life. :D Please hurry hahaha

the one about my life as a sitcom

So I had an epiphany that my life is truly like a sitcom...or dramedy.

A few weeks ago my trainer Christian and myself, Matt, Rich, and Jami were discussing how Mongoloid is a derogatory term for people with Down's Syndrome. Christian was adamant it wasn't till he looked it up. We all agreed.

Fast forward Sunday when I'm talking to my bff's mother-in-law about AMERICAN HORROR STORY.
Me: Oh Jessica Lange is outstanding.
She: Yes and her Mongoloid daughter is a terrific actress.
I literally felt the camera zoom in and my jaw drop as she turned around and handed out candy to the trunk or treaters. I may have heard a laugh track can't be sure.

It's just funny how things in life happen like that. I swear I'm on my own tv show called "...my C average life." Other things have happened to lead me to this hypothesis. I tell you I'm seriously in a dramedy.

the one about living an optomistic life

So I cannot stress how positivity leads to winning. I refuse to let the shackles of bad vibes shake me.

For some reason I felt yesterday "This is gonna be a bad week." But ya know last week I was broke and had no power, that was a bad week. And everyday there was "something." This week I need to change my attitude. Do I still feel like it's going to be a bad week? Kinda. But ya know what my only resolve is no matter what happens I will not get down on myself.

Saturday I woke up at 3am with power (as you know) and then went back to sleep. Well I woke up at 9am and started watching HULU PLUS on my Xbox. Went through some shows then I texted my str8 boyfriend James. We drove into Boston! It was awesome.

Ate a Maggiano's, went to see Tower Heist, walked around a bit. Hung out at Club Cafe. We had so much fun talking and laughin and I realized I've known him since 2004 and we are closer than ever. Am I the long-term friendship guy? I totally am.

And last night as I was standing outside in the cold hanging out candy at the Trunk or Treat (where you give out candy from the trunk of your car) I looked around for a minute.

Earlier in the night I was a little annoyed running around finding candy for sale then I saw it.
Kids all dressed in their Halloween costumes running around playing tag. Others going trunk to trunk saying "trick or treat." My three sisters and their husbands and kids. Jamie's DAD and stepmom even came out. Hugged Mandee's mother-in-law. And I realized this is what life's about...again! Mandee's sister-in-law Jen goes "Did you get power? I was thinking about you all weekend." I just MET her and she's worried about me? How awesome is that?

I drove home smiling. I didn't earn anything from that. I shelled out money for candy. Stood in the freezing cold. And talking to people. I really loved it.

I need more weekends like this. Weekends where I am filling my time with constructive things that are fun to do.

Ok well I'm off to work meeting. And I promise to keep my positive outlook :)

the one about since I've been back...boy have things changed

So I need to vent about this. I realized since I've been back I have not had the same relationship with certain friends as I did when I left. 


It almost feels like they were mad at me for leaving and now that I'm back they are punishing me by not hanging out with me. I kept in contact with them throughout the whole time I was gone. Emailing, calling, texting when I was home. Or randomly while I was there. I get back and nothing. My FAVORITE is my friend whom got mad at me for no COMMUNICATED reason to me prior to me leaving and has since gotten married and not responded to my email of "hey it's been years how about we move on and get back to our friendship." I made sure not to place blame anywhere cuz that never solves anything. But nothing.


It's a stark contrast to the compassion I've been shown since my accident. And the most odd part I've MOSTLY hung out with Jamie and her family whereas before I didn't hang out with them as much as I do now. It boggles my mind. 


The dating scene TERRIFIES me. I am my usual flirty self but these guys want everything up front. Sex. Relationship. You name it. I did that in the past. Wanna try another approach. And they aren't receptive when I tell them no. It's like telling a child they can't do something and the child stamping his feet and lashing out.


Most of my time has like I said been spent with Jamie's family, a few friends that ACTUALLY make time to hang out, catching up with some that I truly understand are busy (so we talk via email or text or phone), and alone. If you told me I wouldn't hang out with my usual friends from before a year ago I wouldn't have believed you. It's like that just stopped talking to me when I moved back.


Part of me is sad and part of me is like "let them be. What will happen happen." Guess maybe I should take a page and just simply move on huh?

Once Upon A Time

ONCE UPON A TIME on ABC is TV series about what happens AFTER Snow White marries Prince Charming produced by J.J. Abrams of LOST fame.


Snow White played by Ginnfer Goodwin is awakened by Prince Charming from her slumber of death by his kiss. At their wedding Snow's stepmother the Evil Queen puts a curse that she will take away their happiness like Snow took hers. Snow sends her daughter Emma away with the advice of Rumplestilskin.


Fast forward to present day Henry goes to Boston, shows up on Emma Swan's doorstep, claiming to be her son she gave up for adoption. Emma drives Henry back to Storybook Maine where he tells her all the townspeople are storybook characters they just don't remember because of the curse put on by the Evil Queen aka his adoptive mother. 


Interesting right?! Think Desperate Housewives meets Lost. There are so many SMART (not confusing) twists and turns you can't figure it out...and you don't want to. It's a show you wish was 24 hours long so you could continiously watch.


My only fear is that it will go the way of his other shows. LOST, FELICITY, and ALIAS all suffered greatly after season 3. Season 4 of each series BOMBED ROYALLY! Here's hoping he stops this show after season 3 OR figures out a way to NOT suck. 


If there is a show to take the place of DH once it's off the air it's this show. It's definitely a sleeper as few people know about it. When they do I have a feeling Lana Parrilla whom plays the Evil Queen will EXPLODE! 


Why I say that is she was in the little seen TV show called WINDFALL with Luke Perry about a group of lottery winners. She was good but meh. This is her first real starring role. I predict during the life of the show she'll be nominated for and/or win a Primetime Emmy. The most evil character in TV history TRUST ME! 


Please watch this show. If you want to be entertained intelligently you will :)

Tower Heist

My mother kept telling me that she couldn't wait to see this movie. I was appalled since it seemed like a terrible typical "black" comedy like Madea crap. 

When I sat down with my str8 boyfriend James it said produced by Imagine Entertainment which is Ron Howard and Brian Glazer's company. Directed by Brett Ratner ("Rush Hour") and written by Ted Griffin (writer of "Ocean's Eleven" and "The Shield"). Suddenly I was interested.

Eddie Murphy does his best to shake "Donkey" persona with great results. Gabby Sidibe is HILARIOUS as a Jamaician maid with a spot-on accent. But it's the chemistry between Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy that's hilarious added with Matthew Broderick and Casey Affleck! The four of them on-screen is one of the funniest foursomes I can remember. Ben is the hyper tensive one. Matthew is the nervous nelly. Casey is the straight-laced realistic one. And Eddie is the loose cannon. Michael Pena is added for a bit of spice. He is the one you know will do ANYTHING crazy!!!

Overall the movie is star-studded but hilarious. Think OCEAN'S ELEVEN meets RUSH HOUR. Tea Leoni, Alan Alda, and Judd Hirsch round out the cast. If you want a laugh with no real complex plot definitely go see this. You will laugh at some of the one-liners AND situations these people get themselves into.

It won't win any Oscars but it will definitely win your adoration!

the one where my power came back on

So Thursday night I couldn't take the cold and slept over Mandee's. We had so much fun yet again. Anyways during the day at work I had to move my car. Super Bass came on. I was like this means my power will be on. Noon on November 4th is what the recording to Western Mass Electric said. Nope. I was PISSED! 


Went home wasn't so cold. Read Hunger Games for 5 chapters and went to bed. At 3am on Saturday I am woken up to my room light coming on and my phone charging. I damn near had a heart attack. Jumped out of bed ran around my house turning OFF lights. Woke my mom and brother up. Oh it was glorious. I watched Desperate Housewives and Law & Order SVU on my xbox through HuluPlus and then crashed at 7. Woke up at 9. Showered, got dressed, and headed out to Boston with my str8 bf.


Which is what I'm about to do now. UGH what a traumatic week this has been. I want things to go back to normal. No more drama!!!!!!! But I think the lesson learned are this:

1. Read again
2. Get more sleep
3. Be more compassionate
4. Value friendships more

I know sounds simple right? But I think the universe is telling me to slow down. Don't get so involved in everything else and forget the small things I actually like to do. And I tell you the compassion i've been shown since the accident has been amazing!


Ok that's all. Off to Boston for the day!

the Ides of March

George Clooney is back directing/co-writing and it couldn't be better. It's funny when he is involved behind the scenes the movies are much smarter. This included.


Academy Award Winner George Clooney is a senator running for Presidency with Academy Award Winner Philip Seymour Hoffman as his Campaign Manager and Academy Award Nominee Ryan Gosling as his Lobbyist. Rachel Evan Wood is sublime as an intern in the office. The chemistry between these four not to mention a few cameos from Academy Award Winner Marisa Tomei and Academy Award nominee Paul Giamatti were heaven.

There is not one fault in casting. One or two MINOR ones in the story but overall this is a powerful movie. It's not your usual political drama either. There's no booming love story. There's no big action scene. There's not a ton of backstabbing. There's this air of "Wait I have this figured out" to "I'm completely not sure what just happened" that sets this as one of my year's Top 10!

If I had to venture a guess it will net Ryan Gosling his second Academy Award nomination and MAY net Rachel Evan Wood her first ever. I could be wrong. I've been wrong in the past, but if Clooney isn't nominated for Best Original Screenplay and/or Directing the Academy is out of their collective minds!

Clint Eastwood should seriously watch out. Clooney is def nipping at his heels.

the one about everything old being new again

So I am back in the call center role. Officially as of Monday I'm a Customer Service Associate in the First Contact aka Worcester Call Center in Personal Lines (breathes) haha the people are very work-oriented but friendly. I don't THINK (I can't bet obviously) that I'll make the bonds that I made in my last department. But that's good! I want that work is work mentality. Definitely some cool people in the new department but I'm not about to befriend EVERYONE. One girl I think I will probably get super close to. She's really awesome.

Day 4 of no power so I've been reading Harry Potter. Almost done actually. Can't wait to read number two. I have been going to the movie a bit in my head, but still they are both great. The book spells out ALOT more than the movies and fills in gaps which I love. After this (waiting for book two) I'm going to read Candace Bushnell's book that's been sitting on my to-read list. Looks like I'm back to reading hehe

Also...I contacted Ben. DON'T JUDGE ME! So one of my friends was breaking up and getting back together with his girlfriend and I told him "Stop focusing on what she isn't and focus on what she is." Maybe that's been my problem with Ben all along. He's handsome. Smart. Made me laugh. Would lay down his life for me. And showed me in more than one way how much he cared about me. But I was so focused in on him NOT being a, b, and c that I didn't take him for what he is. After hearing about Kim Kardashian's 72 day marriage, I sat down the other day and tried to think "what are the characteristics of my soulmate that I can live with and live without." Ben wasn't PERFECT but he had alot of stuff on my "live with" side of the list. We've just been chatting via email for now. And I'm not saying I want to be back with him fully, but I think I'm open to A date with him again.

Reminds me. I was talking to Josh and he goes "You have changed from the last time we were dating." I said "Well gosh I hope I have changed in 3 years." And it got me thinking of how I have changed? I'm quicker to cut someone out of my life, but it's easier for me to let little things go. Example I haven't made a strong enough bond with my coworker friends that if they didn't wanna be talk I'd be ok. BUT if my mom says something kind of rude I let it go. She probably didn't mean it to come off that way and I have better fish to fry. Other things I noticed too. Just made me go "hmmm"

Anyways at lunch. Just called the garage that has my Lady GeGe. They are releasing it to the auto body shop that my insurance company is paying so probably by tomorrow I'll know the estimate of damage or if I have to replace her with Lady GeGe 2. Hmm if I get a new car it'd probably be a new name tho. Lemme think on this.