So one of my exes that I was really close to told me the other day "No we didn't break up because I didn't want a boyfriend like I said but because we didn't have enough in common." OY! At that point I was done. Not because I was jealous but because now that he's going on dates with "new" people we didn't have enough in common. Then I got to thinking why did I ever date him in the first place?
Yes he's physically attractive but so? He's cheap. Not frugal cheap. Whenever we'd go to dinner he would tally up what he paid for and pay for that. When I'm with my besties we split everything in half even if they buy drinks. And he hates having his picture taken. But the worse part he's emotionally abusive. I dunno why I put up with it as a boyfriend, but when we became friends I noticed it more. He would turn his nose up with his finger to call me a pig. He would make jokes about my weight. Granted I'm not FAT but I think I am. Sure it's in my control to do something about what goes in my body but seriously? Do you need to make fun of me for it? Really? And I noticed something else he NEVER contacted me. I had to be the one to contact him if I wanted to hang out or talk to him.
I'm starting to believe the old adage you cannot befriend your exes because all but one has been a dick. My very first boyfriend is consistently nice. Like he's really a great guy and I cannot say anything bad about him. The other three it's like daily I'm not sure if they are gonna be asses or not. Especially the aforementioned one. I think the best thing is what I'm doing staying away from the above guy. I truly don't think he's a good person. Do you know what he did? On his facebook status he put (paraphrase) "Finally went on a good date. It's been awhile." LOL I just laughed at his immaturity and put him on my block list. He's been enlisted lol That's gonna be my new thing. He's NEVER ONCE mentioned dating on his status. He only did it to be a dick. See and that right there is someone I need to stay away from. Immature pricks like him.
I know how to pick up!
This is Emmy Morgan's blog about TV, movies, music, and a little bit of her personal life :)
the one where I shake it off
Had kind of a bad day Monday.
Feeling really unappreciated at my job. It's just odd my boss really does appreciate me. I can tell. It's everyone else lol I knew what I was getting into. I shouldn't feel this way but I do...then people are saying I'M negative. Me. The person who doesn't complain about bonuses or raises and who's constantly told I look like I'm doing nothing when in fact I'm doing 100 things. Then the same people are telling me to slow down I'm doing too much. It's almost laughable. So I get no credit for anything I do. I get nothing extra. I do it just to do. And out of NOWHERE I'm negative. And let's not forget I'm the one telling people "Hey let's not focus on the negative." Oh and I'm told I'm too nice yet I'm negative hahaha All I can do is laugh. Whatever.
Then I get home and walking to the T feeling like I'm unappreciated by my friends...my roommate not only took out the trash but he brought me dinner. Like seriously? It's the little things like that that I need to just say "you're nuts."
And my bestie texts me words of encouragement...like I was so down in the dumps today I felt like...you know when you literally feel like your heart is breaking inside. Like crumpling. Not a sharp pain but aching. I dunno how to describe it. That's what I felt though. Like what a hollow Easter bunny might feel like. ugh
Anyways I need to shake it off. Tomorrow's a new day. And I do have people in my life that love and appreciate me. Mostly I need to love and appreciate myself.
Feeling really unappreciated at my job. It's just odd my boss really does appreciate me. I can tell. It's everyone else lol I knew what I was getting into. I shouldn't feel this way but I do...then people are saying I'M negative. Me. The person who doesn't complain about bonuses or raises and who's constantly told I look like I'm doing nothing when in fact I'm doing 100 things. Then the same people are telling me to slow down I'm doing too much. It's almost laughable. So I get no credit for anything I do. I get nothing extra. I do it just to do. And out of NOWHERE I'm negative. And let's not forget I'm the one telling people "Hey let's not focus on the negative." Oh and I'm told I'm too nice yet I'm negative hahaha All I can do is laugh. Whatever.
Then I get home and walking to the T feeling like I'm unappreciated by my friends...my roommate not only took out the trash but he brought me dinner. Like seriously? It's the little things like that that I need to just say "you're nuts."
And my bestie texts me words of encouragement...like I was so down in the dumps today I felt like...you know when you literally feel like your heart is breaking inside. Like crumpling. Not a sharp pain but aching. I dunno how to describe it. That's what I felt though. Like what a hollow Easter bunny might feel like. ugh
Anyways I need to shake it off. Tomorrow's a new day. And I do have people in my life that love and appreciate me. Mostly I need to love and appreciate myself.
the one about Ben in my dream
So last night I had the weirdest dream. It was me, Brandon, his friends Tim and Kyle. I've met Tim once and Kyle twice so not sure why they were in the dream (but I talk to Tim on the reg...good apple). And we were in the apt I grew up with as a kid in Feeding Hills, MA. The weird part is Ben was there. I KNOW! We were all in my empty bedroom sitting on folding chairs talking. Ben said something that was slightly embarrassing towards me. I said "You know what you should leave." He goes "What?" and uncomfortably laughed. I go "GET THE FUCK OUT!" He stood up and left. We all decided the vibe was wrong and meet up later that night. I go downstairs and Ben comes outta my bathroom. He goes "Yeah I had to take a dump before I left" I was so mad LOL (stay with me). So then he leaves out the backdoor and goes across the street where apparently his ex lives.
I've thought about this dream ALOT! Mostly cuz its so random. I still havent come up with what it means. But I do know it's interpretive because I was just talking about to Brandon how I love Lady GaGa's song "Monster" which is interpretive. I'll have to think on this one. lol
I've thought about this dream ALOT! Mostly cuz its so random. I still havent come up with what it means. But I do know it's interpretive because I was just talking about to Brandon how I love Lady GaGa's song "Monster" which is interpretive. I'll have to think on this one. lol
the one about dating a shorter guy
So everyone my whole life has told me to lower my standards and I've refused. I've had four boyfriends in my life and each of them except one was really my type. The one that wasn't my type ended very badly. I've always said two things about dating:
Maybe I should try letting that go? I dunno if I can though. It's pretty important to me. I mean there are SOME deal breakers (ie. drug user, heavy smoker/drinker, clingy behavior, no life outside of dating). But it's true I can meet the perfect guy if he's shorter than me I'm turned off.
Well I'm a firm believer in if something doesn't work try something else. Maybe I will give a short guy a try.
- I want a boyfriend; I don't need one.
- I want to date someone perfect for me, not perfect.
Maybe I should try letting that go? I dunno if I can though. It's pretty important to me. I mean there are SOME deal breakers (ie. drug user, heavy smoker/drinker, clingy behavior, no life outside of dating). But it's true I can meet the perfect guy if he's shorter than me I'm turned off.
Well I'm a firm believer in if something doesn't work try something else. Maybe I will give a short guy a try.
the one about the dog in my dream
I'm usually pretty good at interpreting my dreams. Tuesday night into Wednesday I dreamt that I was at my house taking care of a dog. Dunno how it got there but the dog was dehydrated and I brought it water. It was really skinny I brought it food. And by the end of the dream the dog and I were inseparable. I think it means I'm going to get close to someone I formally hated.
Wanna know why? Growing up as a kid I hated dogs. I remember my mom pushing me in a stroller, a dog came up, and she pulled me away. The dog didn't do anything but I was scared from that day on. Into my adult life I've conquered my fear. I now understand MOST dogs need to be provoked. I don't get scared like I used to.
So I was online Wednesday, saw this kid Chris that I think is hot but he's always been bitchy to me for the past I'm gonna say two years. We ACTUALLY talked. I am still in my "lent-get-rid-of-grudges" mode and we had a pretty damn good conversation. Could he be the dog in my dream?
Wanna know why? Growing up as a kid I hated dogs. I remember my mom pushing me in a stroller, a dog came up, and she pulled me away. The dog didn't do anything but I was scared from that day on. Into my adult life I've conquered my fear. I now understand MOST dogs need to be provoked. I don't get scared like I used to.
So I was online Wednesday, saw this kid Chris that I think is hot but he's always been bitchy to me for the past I'm gonna say two years. We ACTUALLY talked. I am still in my "lent-get-rid-of-grudges" mode and we had a pretty damn good conversation. Could he be the dog in my dream?
the one where I'm fed up
So I've pretty much had it this week with being upset and annoyed. People are being weird. Even people I've known for years are suddenly accusing me of things I've never nor would do. I dunno about anyone else but I log onto Facebook like a part-time job. Constantly checking up on my friends and family. Also sharing personal information I wouldn't share with just anyone.
With that said I've decided if anyone feels I'm a bitch, a gossip, whatever they wanna think they need to simply erase me from their lives. HAHA it's funny that the fastest way to expunge someone from my life is to remove them from Facebook. When did I rely on Facebook to manage my friendships? UGH!
More importantly when did people have such little faith. Oh well probably better I find out now right? Just kinda surprising.
the one where I go for my photo shoot for a Bachelor Auction
So today I was suppose to be in Western MA on my day off...didn't happen. Instead I woke up late, had the maintenance guy fix my roommate's bedroom door so it now closes without the use of a shoe (poor Chris), cleaned the apt, put laundry in, gonna shower, and run to Comcast to switch out my DVR then tonight pose for my very first photo shoot ever! Yup!
Last month the manager of Club Cafe (whom I've become quite fond of...in a friend way he's married geesh) posted that he needed volunteers for a Bachelor Auction in April. I said sure why not. And now I gotta go get my pictures done. I hope there's hair and makeup. I'm SO ready for my closeup! hahaha I've never done one of these before plus it's for charity. I just hope I don't have to put out for some nasty ass, old rich guy who can probably pay my bills and....hmm LMAO No sir. I'd never compromise my morals to get my car note paid!
As happy as I was when I first wrote that paragraph 4 hours ago the photo shoot was THE SINGLE worst experience of my life save for my acquaintance Andrew being there. First there was a Celtic event so I couldnt park on the street and the parking lots were $30 each. I found a parking garage fine. Walked up and was the second in line. Then a gaggle of gays arrived. I go to pose and hear the photographer say to his assistant "I don't want him sitting like that his stomach is sticking out." Now I've NEVER cared about my weight or been super selfish conscious...until that moment. I wanted to leave right then and there. But I didn't. I made a commitment and was going to honor it. Then the gaggle of gays (which included my acquaintance Andrew) started heckling each other. I felt so insecure and uncomfortable I again wanted to leave but forced myself to stay. I stayed away from the group out in the hall making up the lie that my cell phone wouldn't work in that room. Truth is I didn't wanna be there or near anyone right then and there. I wanted to leave so badly. Finally the "sporty" set came and I was second. I posed then booked it out there, changed, and ran to my car. $22 later for parking I'm driving home bawling like a teen being dumped by her boyfriend on Facebook. OH MY GOD! Never volunteering for anything again LOL Horrible experience. FML! Thankfully my roommate bought me Chinese. It's my comfort food don't judge me. UGH!
Last month the manager of Club Cafe (whom I've become quite fond of...in a friend way he's married geesh) posted that he needed volunteers for a Bachelor Auction in April. I said sure why not. And now I gotta go get my pictures done. I hope there's hair and makeup. I'm SO ready for my closeup! hahaha I've never done one of these before plus it's for charity. I just hope I don't have to put out for some nasty ass, old rich guy who can probably pay my bills and....hmm LMAO No sir. I'd never compromise my morals to get my car note paid!
As happy as I was when I first wrote that paragraph 4 hours ago the photo shoot was THE SINGLE worst experience of my life save for my acquaintance Andrew being there. First there was a Celtic event so I couldnt park on the street and the parking lots were $30 each. I found a parking garage fine. Walked up and was the second in line. Then a gaggle of gays arrived. I go to pose and hear the photographer say to his assistant "I don't want him sitting like that his stomach is sticking out." Now I've NEVER cared about my weight or been super selfish conscious...until that moment. I wanted to leave right then and there. But I didn't. I made a commitment and was going to honor it. Then the gaggle of gays (which included my acquaintance Andrew) started heckling each other. I felt so insecure and uncomfortable I again wanted to leave but forced myself to stay. I stayed away from the group out in the hall making up the lie that my cell phone wouldn't work in that room. Truth is I didn't wanna be there or near anyone right then and there. I wanted to leave so badly. Finally the "sporty" set came and I was second. I posed then booked it out there, changed, and ran to my car. $22 later for parking I'm driving home bawling like a teen being dumped by her boyfriend on Facebook. OH MY GOD! Never volunteering for anything again LOL Horrible experience. FML! Thankfully my roommate bought me Chinese. It's my comfort food don't judge me. UGH!
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