I watched the two hour interview of "Meghan & Harry," and this was triggering...keep reading
So I have always wondered how they got together, why they are no longer royals, and what happened with Meghan's family.
From the interview, Meghan detailed how the royal family stated if they had kids the kids would not have royal titles or security and lamented the color of the kids skin. Shocking and triggering.
In the black community, we judge each other based on skin color. "Black top," "Red Bone," "Toxic light skin," "Possessive dark skin," and my personal fave phrase "Never have kids with someone darker than you cuz your babies will be BLACK." That's what the older generation did to us. Made us insecure and doubt ourselves all the while telling us we are good enough and can do anything.
Of course people are siding with the royal family and Meghan's father. Funny we NEVER hear from her mother's side, but always from her father's side...specifically Meghan's father and half-sister. CONSTANTLY those two. People ask "Why did Meghan not speak out about how awful her dad is before..."
From my own experience, I grew up with a mother who wasn't a mom. She did the bare minimum as far as parental units go. She fed me, make sure the lights and water was on, bought me clothes, but that's where it stops. Affection, self-worth, LOVE, I had to go elsewhere. And my good grades in school meant nothing to her. She couldn't care less. At an early age, I decided to be a good role model for myself. Didn't have my first drink till I was in college, I've been drunk three times in my life. Stayed out of jail, hanging with the wrong crowd, and avoided drugs altogether. Movies, writing, and music plus hanging out with my friends. I replaced my mother with a mom I drifted towards down the street. And my mother was JEALOUS! But why? She clearly didn't want me so...then I found out as an adult that my mother actually DIDN'T want to carry me. She felt "forced" to, and it all made so much sense. The second I found out, I made her a blood relative; she will NEVER be family.
My point is there is so much shame attached to even talking about this. The people with bad parents are shamed that if we speak out, no one will believe us. And worse we're told "You only have one mom or dad..." Well these parents only have ONE of us. I have a half-brother but I'm the only me. The worst thing she's ever said to me, after I transitioned I said "Hey haven't you always wanted a daughter?" She said "No I wanted two boys." In that moment I knew she and I were done.
So don't shame Meghan for not speaking up sooner. Don't chastise her for speaking her truth. Knowing she deals with the same family crap others of us deal with is comforting. Comforting to know we aren't alone.
I was bawling by the end of the interview because it hit so close to home. I'm so glad Meghan found her person and can build a family. And to all those struggling with blood relatives that suck, know that you can choose your family.