So I emailed Ben yesterday about the whereabouts of my laptop which turned into his apology. My gut reaction oddly enough is to forgive him. Here's why. I've said and done some nasty horrible things to other people in the past. People like my best friend Larry. He and I have gone toe to toe and you know what years later we are closer than ever. My mom is another perfect example. Unforgivable things that have been forgiven. How can I not forgive Ben especially when I know WHY he said it...he misunderstood. He even admitted he misunderstood and that it was a "low blow" to bring up things I told him in confidence and use it against me.
I still think he has room to grow. He does have a problem telling the whole truth, but I think he feels because he has very few friends he needs to "fib" in order to have someone in his corner. I remember the other day staring at him. In his eyes. And I didn't see evil. I didn't see blackness. I saw brown eyes. For the longest time I thought his eyes were dark brown/black. But they are brown. That image of the other day still is embedded in my brain. I wish I could explain why I'm so drawn to him. I just feel like if I don't give him the chances my mom and friend Larry have given me I will be a hypocrite.