So I have been reluctant to talk about it, but I am now: As of December 1, 2014 I have decided to transition from male to female. It isn't a tough or brave decision; it's a necessary one.
I was born in Springfield MA where my Godmother's best friend "Aunt Emily" let me ride my bike to her apartment and dress up in her clothes and wear her makeup. She even gave me a necklace that said "Unique" on it as a kid. Shortly after we moved to Agawam, MA. Growing up a Black gay boy in White straight Agawam, MA I always felt sorta off. Not that I was different, but that I was robbed somehow. I hung out with both my guy and girl friends, but I felt freer with my girlfriends. Freer to express myself and be "me." No one cared I was "gay" and the fact that I was a boy only came up when I was told I couldn't sleep over my girl friends house. I was always so hurt and felt so left out. Getting into high school I didn't have a boyfriend or circle of friends I hung out with, I wasn't talking about clothes or makeup, I didn't go to prom, I wasn't being fought over by boys, nor was I experiencing the actual puberty I wanted. I was friends with basically everyone (nerds, jocks, popular kids, stoners), and the people that disliked me were either people not in my grade who didn't know me or people whom I found out later in life had secretly resented me for being openly gay (whether they are themselves or they envied my boldness). One day sick from school I saw on the Joan Rivers Show a beautiful woman named Tula. Tula listed her acting and modeling credits, but more importantly came out a transexual. I knew that was me, but I had no idea how to do what she did. I still had this yearning to be a teenage girl and the movie "Clueless" captured what I wanted my life to be like. It solidified my determination where Tula clarified it. I had never felt understood or represented until Tula and that movie and of course it came AFTER I graduated high school; perfect timing right? Going into college I became obsessed with both becoming a transexual and "Clueless." I saw the movie in the theaters 4 times that summer, and bought all the books based on the movie THEN watched the TV show. Cher Horowitz represented the me inside and on every falling star, set of birthday candles, penny I threw in a well, or eyelash I blew away I wished I was reborn a girl overnight. I took a job at my college library and researched everything I could via books and the internet on transsexuality. I knew after college my life would be amazing because I would move away and become the girl I always wanted to be. My best friend Jamie was the first person I told about all this. She of course was supportive as were her sisters Mandee & Ashley and her brother Brett.
After college I realized things weren't so simple. Not only was the full medical costs $100k, but where would I live? What about my job? Nothing came to pass the way I thought it would so I resigned that I was going to simply live as a gay man. It wasn't a miserable decision but one of fact. I floundered back and forth first moving to Quincy MA in 2006 only to leave with little change in my life in May 2011. Moving back home was torture emotionally and physically, but it afforded me much needed time with Jamie & her family (no longer a teen but a married mom of two) after Brett died unexpectedly on February 26, 2011. My life spiraled downward when I became unemployed for 8 months. I was late on bills, living at home with my mother & half-brother, and fatter than ever.
Fast forward to February 10, 2014 when I accepted a job as a temp Contact Call Center rep at a utility company. I worked there for 6 months before becoming a Billing Rep at the same company (a permanent employee). I moved to Boston to accept the job, got back on track financially, and went over everything with a fine tooth comb. One of the things was the health insurance. I realized that I was able to transition with my health insurance. Also my company was very LGBT inclusive. I went to my first physical in awhile.
Sitting in the doctor's office waiting for him I looked around the room and saw a tear-out for TransHealth on the wall. I tore it out and put it in my pocket. To this day I don't know why, but I did. So began my journey of consults, telling friends, coming to realizations myself, and Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). I began HRT on March 18, 2015, but the real journey has been my friends. They have all been amazing and supportive. Lots of questions and concerns, but so supportive. I told my story on a local Boston radio station then 3 days later I did an interview on a friend's podcast.
On August 1, 2015 I decided to come out as trans. My work announced my transition on August 3, 2015. When I first came out there was no transgender benefits or support. As of August 9, 2019 I have done been featured on our company intranet, I was featured in a story for American Gas Magazine, my company now covers 80% of gender reassignment surgery and all transgender health benefits, they formed a Pride group within the company and have marched in the gay pride parades around the country, they updated all their training modules and discrimination policies to include gender identity, and we've had transgender and non-binary guest speakers come in. My work fully supports me and that's been amazing.
On December 23, 2015 my new first and middle names are Emily Morgan; I kept my last name. I go by Emmy Morgan for the entertainment world (Emme was the first plus size model back in the 90s plus there already was an Emily Morgan on IMDB; I liked Emmy because it reminded me of the Daytime Emmy to be honest).
Looking forward to this and what else lies ahead for me :)