So let me start off by saying I do not promote or condone suicide as a means of dealing with stress. In fact I am against it for others AND myself.
Having said that I can see how people get to that point of despair. Feeling life isn't going your way. Feeling no one cares. Feeling no one's on your side. I've felt all of these at one point in my life. But here's the thing I don't care if I don't have anyone that cares about me (I do in fact thankfully), I care about me. I want to be able to tell myself "I was in this dark place, I was down and out, and I picked myself up and made something of myself. I did it!"
Granted not everyone feels this way and I understand, but giving up isn't the answer. Saying that you are going to leave this world because things don't go your way...hold on for one more day. DAMN YOU WILSON PHILLIPS! Sorry that slipped out. But in all seriousness I want to live to see tomorrow. To see what it brings. To see how I can better myself and others around me.
And it doesn't matter the number of people supporting me. That's not what I want. It's WHOM is supporting me. I have some amazing, amazing people around me. That have been there since the beginning. And they are still here. My longest friendship is my bestie Megan whom I met September 1, 1985. We don't talk everyday. We don't hang out everyday. But there's this bond that's so solid. I also have a surrogate family that I met June 1986 that is still like my family. These are the people I love and care for and vice versa.
I think the key to staying positive and never giving up on myself is having that foundation of strength inside myself that I cannot shake. I will not let anyone tear me down or take me for granted because I know who I am. I know what I want. I know where I will end up. It's all up to me and the power of positive thinking. I don't think we give ourselves enough credit of what we can handle so we turn to suicide in order to relieve this. The aftermath is awful.
When I thought about suicide that one time in my life I thought about that surrogate family and how much guilt they will feel "why didnt he come to me?" I thought about my friends with strong Catholic beliefs "He's gonna go to hell. it's a sin to kill yourself." And I thought about my friends whom have been there for me through thick and thin whom seen me at my worse and stood by me. "WHY THE EFF DID HE DO THIS?" Suicide was not the answer for me. It never will be. I have too much love in my heart for myself and those around me to cause that much pain and heartache. I only wish others felt this way.
Remember no matter if no one in this world loves you...love yourself :)