the one about since I've been back...boy have things changed

So I need to vent about this. I realized since I've been back I have not had the same relationship with certain friends as I did when I left. 


It almost feels like they were mad at me for leaving and now that I'm back they are punishing me by not hanging out with me. I kept in contact with them throughout the whole time I was gone. Emailing, calling, texting when I was home. Or randomly while I was there. I get back and nothing. My FAVORITE is my friend whom got mad at me for no COMMUNICATED reason to me prior to me leaving and has since gotten married and not responded to my email of "hey it's been years how about we move on and get back to our friendship." I made sure not to place blame anywhere cuz that never solves anything. But nothing.


It's a stark contrast to the compassion I've been shown since my accident. And the most odd part I've MOSTLY hung out with Jamie and her family whereas before I didn't hang out with them as much as I do now. It boggles my mind. 


The dating scene TERRIFIES me. I am my usual flirty self but these guys want everything up front. Sex. Relationship. You name it. I did that in the past. Wanna try another approach. And they aren't receptive when I tell them no. It's like telling a child they can't do something and the child stamping his feet and lashing out.


Most of my time has like I said been spent with Jamie's family, a few friends that ACTUALLY make time to hang out, catching up with some that I truly understand are busy (so we talk via email or text or phone), and alone. If you told me I wouldn't hang out with my usual friends from before a year ago I wouldn't have believed you. It's like that just stopped talking to me when I moved back.


Part of me is sad and part of me is like "let them be. What will happen happen." Guess maybe I should take a page and just simply move on huh?