Not to keep constantly slamming Bruce but he was part of it. And there's actually been a couple other guys that have really irked me. Since this seems to be the week of closure (lol) two spring to mind.
One was this guy Randy. When I first moved to Boston the very first day at work I met Amy. I tried my best to dislike her because I didn't wanna get close to anyone (my previous boss was The Devil Wears Ann Taylor) but clearly that didn't happen. We'd go in the cafe and this tall gorgeous guy would walk by. I'd drool and I coulda sworn he was straight. Amy was like no he's gay. And slowly over the course of a year and a half little things would happen. He'd smile. Oops did he just wink at me? No. He'd rush to be in line behind me. It was cute. Should I talk to him? No I won't. Then I saw him at Roxy. I was like OH MY GOD he is gay. Maybe he's not out. I won't say a word. The NEXT DAY he was cold. Wouldn't look at me in the cafe. Would go out of his way to avoid me. I felt like Bella in "Twilight" and how Edward avoided her. And it got worse. I'd see him out and he'd be just plain rude. I just kept that to myself. How was I gonna explain that? Thankfully Amy never noticed or asked me about it. So then I noticed we had the same friends and would be on the same online social networks. He'd ignore me and block me. I was like WTF! Finally I had had enough.
Per mentioned this week being the running theme of closure I finally emailed him. "Aside from you being a racist I'm not sure what I did to deserve your ire, but at this point in my life I'm tired of being rude to people whom are rude to me simply as a defense mechanism. Gays have enough hatred from homophobes we don't need it unnecessarily from each other. Whatever you perceive that I did to you THREE YEARS AGO I wish you would've been adult enough to talk to me about it but hopefully you aren't hanging onto it. We live in the same town and have mutual friends. It's absurd we've wasted so much time throwing shade." I have yet to get a response.
Quite honestly I don't think I will. Like Peter (whom moved from I can't even remember where to live here) whom has done a similar thing I think there are just some guys in life that grown downward. These two men are well into their 30s and they have gotten less mature with age. When did this happen? I thought self-reflection and self-help were the new craze.
And I dunno about anyone else but my friends...I don't think they think I'm a bitch. I think they think I'm tough on people. So if I dislike someone they call me out immediately. "Oh why don't you like this person? Tell me the detailed reason." When I tell them and they don't agree they tell me I'm being "immature and to get the eff over it." This doesn't end our friendship or change it. It's just that's what their opinion is. More than half the time I agree and get over it. They have no idea about that hahaha BUT the other piece they get it. They understand why. Do other people have friends like this? Friends that tell them they are being morons and to get out of their own damn ways?
It's taken me a long time to get that phrase working. Getting out of your own way is tough. It's like training yourself for a marathon. I think I'm gonna spend the rest of the week doing just that.