So this is a picture of my mom's parents Samuel and Ida O'Quinn. They had 11 children together, and he had 1 from a prior marriage. My mother is the youngest. And like most of America I have a complicated family filled with lies, betrayal, and abuse. For many years I focused on that. All the anger and hurt my family caused me.Then oddly enough my cousin Bea friend requested me on Facebook. Then another cousin Phalba. Slowly it was like all these people in my family that I have no anger towards and that I love reentered my life. It was like that line Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman "The bad stuff is easier to believe." I believed I had a horrible family when I don't. I have a great family; there are just a few bad apples in the bunch.
Unfortunately my anger towards these few made me shut them all out. I missed moments like my cousin Bea having her baby. My cousin Tony (her brother) and his kids. Weddings. Births. Weddings. Graduations. Family parties. And how do I get that back? I can't. It's gone forever. But here's the truly bizarre thing: these people think the world of me.
One day I was having SUCH a bad day at my old job. Just not having a good time. Lost my direction in life. Wanted to quit. And I went online and was reading a status about my cousin Bea upset over the loss of her beloved cat. Of course I immediately reached out to her, and it was like we were talking back and forth right next to each other. Of course talking online cannot replace being in person, but for that moment it did.
I talk to my mom daily and told her that. She was so sad being a cat lover herself. And then I realized something profound. Ok so you see someone walking down the street and think to yourself "He looks like such a mess." Or you have that hated enemy. But here's the reality check they have family that love them. There is a group of people in their lives that think the world of them. No matter WHAT you or I think about this person has parents that light up when they are in the room. Grandparents whom beg to get even five minutes of their time. And kid cousins that jump up and down pulling on their arm to get their attention. I'm sure whatever they did to make you despise them is still valid, but just something that crossed my mind.