the one about Robbie

So I had a crush on this guy Robbie. He was a waiter at Fritz a year ago. Tall. Boy next door. Completely gorgeous. Everyone who met Robbie whether tall boy next door was their type thought he was beautiful. He still is (sorry he ain't dead). I'd see him at Club Cafe. He started dating my friend Tyler. Just kinda the hot guy I will always have a crush on ya know?

Well we were online chatting back and forth on Tyler's fb wall and I felt he was being utterly bitchy. At the time I was realizing what Josh was to me which was not a good thing. I think I just thought every gay man was bitchy so I cut things off with Josh and for a period ANY guy I thought was being that way too. My friend Mike, Robbie, and there were others.

As you read previously for Lent I gave up grudges. It truly has changed my life. Really. I now try to say the things you aren't suppose to say to your friends in a tactful way to avoid grudges. Kinda like how I told Ben it was wrong to go on dates with Ed while I was going on dates with Ed. I gave him the chance. He just didn't like me telling him he shouldn't do something. Everything's a pissing contest with him but I digress. So I reached out to Robbie tonight.

"...we're very sarcastic, but it's all meant to be playful and funny. I never intended it to be bitchy! I'm sorry. i actually thought you were nice, never had an issue with you."

Like what a jerk I am. I just apologized. There's no way to defend myself when I didn't ask him. I shoulda said "are you being rude?" Always ask folks never assume. I hate loathe and despise when people I DON'T know say "oh you're in a pissy mood." How the hell would you know if we just met? But yeah I swallowed all pride and apologized. Now I feel bad. :( The "I actually thought you were nice" got me. I know Jen told me nice isn't really a description you wanna be described as, but I love it. Makes me melt when I hear someone call me nice.

So Robbie, I'm sorry. I misunderstood and feel like a complete ass. Forgive me :( schmoosh to make up?